Free To Be Me

Our greatest block to success is ourselves, and the thoughts we tell ourselves every time we try, or attempt to try, something new or something different.

Our thoughts get in the way – ‘monkey mind’, ‘overthinking’ whatever we call it in our own head, and then the doubt sets in, those little niggles that we have believed over the years, ‘you can’t do …’, ‘why would anyone want to see/read your …’, etc. and then that story grows (gets legs and runs, develops wings and flies) and suddenly we are believing our thoughts, and going back to our comfortable life.  The comfortable life we have created, full of all the nice things we deserve because we work hard.

Except it’s not really living, it’s existing.  Existing in the cocoon we have created, with all those comforts, everything we need to get through the day, and because we feel safe and ‘happy’ we tell ourselves that this is our truth, our reality.  But these are surface feelings, and we get caught in the cycle of ‘feeding’ these feelings with material things to keep the happiness going.

I was in a cocoon for many years, a cocoon I had created from fear and limiting beliefs and a lack of confidence, in myself and my abilities.  I am not sure when exactly this cocoon began, (experts would say it was in my childhood – content for another post), but I added to it each year, consciously and unconsciously, creating layer upon layer, believing my life was okay, telling myself I was happy.  Telling myself that was how it should be, and I had to make the best of what I had.  And for the most part of it I did make the best of what I had.

But deep down I knew that there was always something missing, something more of life to be enjoyed other than the material, instant gratification, short-lived successes and ‘treats’ to self.

It took a while to break down those walls, the self-imposed blocks, it began with releasing a lot of ‘old’ me in the physical, the life I had created for myself, the books I had amassed for myself, the story I told myself every morning when I woke, to get myself through another day.

I may be still releasing some blocks – time will tell.  But it’s all good.

Writing has been a huge part of my life, and always will be.  I wasn’t a big talker when I was younger, so I wrote.  Everything.  My feelings, my thoughts, my words.  All of it.  I created characters in my head knowing that one day I would share my story, that I would get to the stage when I didn’t listen to my ‘monkey mind’ arguing about the pros and cons

This blog is the start of the new me, the real me, putting myself out there.  No more blocks or limiting beliefs.  The time is now. 

The plan is to write about me and all things writing and my writing journey, but I don’t really do plans, and knowing my tangential mind (it is a thing!) this blog could go anywhere.  And that’s amazing.  No more limits or putting myself in a box, real or imagined.  Time to Trust My Instincts and Live My Truth. 

Free to Be Me 27 Feb 2023

Free to be me 2023 Feb 27th 1248pm1217

Any doubts that I am a writer are quickly demolished as soon as I sit down to write.  I have done so much in my life, varied careers since I started in the Civil Service at the tender age of seventeen – after I had completed two months of a secretarial course – enough to get establish a proficiency in typing – one which I have improved hugely over the years – I have done a lot more than the 10,000 some experts say is needed.  The shorthand I have not used since 1985.  Though like most writers I have established my own brand of shorthand over the years – not always legible, but all good.

I went down the usual route, starting with a permanent and pensionable job in the Civil Service, Bolton Street college for a diploma and commencing a degree in 1992 in DCU.  I didn’t complete my degree, not because I don’t like learning, but because I left the Civil Service, resigning from my post as Senior Computer Programmer in 1996 to begin life as a hackney taxi driver.  Slight variation in career choice.  But at the time I felt I needed to escape – the idea of sitting at a desk all day didn’t appeal to me at all.  Slightly ironic given that some days I sit at my desk from sunup to sundown and beyond.  I feel at peace when I write.

Driving a cab gave me freedom, each day different and I met so many amazing people.  Someone once said I should write a book about it – I kept a lot of notes from the time.  And maybe I will.

I started to study again when drove a taxi for a few years, until my baby bump became more precious to me.  Then started to study again.  I started with Child Development – naturally – I was just about to become a mum, and Sports Psychology because I have always been interested in the mind.  I dabbled in some painting too.  I have amassed 70+ diplomas, certificates and qualifications over the years, from Child Development to Criminology and many ‘ologys’ in between.  I am a lifelong learner, and it all adds to my experience.  A few people question why I study so much ‘What are you doing with those qualifications?’  I know now that I am living!  Equipped with a variety of knowledge.  Handy when you are a writer!

I have on worked on assembly lines – televisions, retail – sports shop, secretarial – estate agent.  I have been a bus driver and a bus escort, though not at the same time.  While these were all interesting jobs, especially the estate agents, I needed something more in line with being a single mum.  Becoming a special needs assistant seemed an obvious choice.  I had been coaching on and off since I was eighteen and I loved working with children, and having more or less the same holidays as my son was perfect.  I loved working as a special needs assistant and once thought I would be an SNA until I retired.

I write every day.  And I love it.  I will always be a writer.  Through procrastination, imposter syndrome, setbacks and roadblocks, I have found my happy place.  When the words in my head are being produced on the page, I feel at home.  The place where I am Free To Be Me.

When do you feel ‘Free to Be’?

Embrace Change, Embrace The New, Embrace You

Embrace Change, Embrace The New, Embrace You

Happy 1111 Day

If you are interested in numbers and numerology, today (11/11/22) is hugely significant. We talked about 22 the other day. 22 and 11 are Master Numbers, in that they are not added to each other (as in Numerology), so they remain as that number. Although you can add them together if you want.

Master Numbers hold huge significance and more power.

1111 represents mastery of self and our self-awareness of our spiritual connection – the universe and our place in it.

If you embrace the power of this number, you can manifest huge opportunities in your life.

With the recent full moon and eclipse energies, we have been releasing a lot of old – ideas, emotions and physical ‘stuff’, to make way for the new. And you can embrace that new today – however it manifests.

Angel number 1111 represents new beginnings, if you are ready and open to them. Change is the only constant in our lives.

We often create habits, unknowingly initially, that become the ‘norm’ in our life, our little safe space, and we feel we have to keep doing these things, because it feels ‘safe’ or ‘usual’. We do these things every day, and they feel okay, even though they may not always be ‘good’ for us. We all have different habits that we have ‘created’ along the way to help us cope. And that is okay – we do what we can in every situation to make it the best for ourselves. And that is the ultimate thing to do in life – whatever is best for you. Initially, these seem like the best option but sometimes it doesn’t always work out that they are the best in the long term.

So today, I invite you to embrace change – however small. Do one thing different today. For you.

Today is a good day to start – 1111 – new beginnings – how ever they manifest. Choose one step to ‘freedom from habits’ for you, today. Embrace change. Embrace the New. Embrace You.

Have a beautiful day. Fran x

Move Forward in the Direction of Your Dreams

I wasn’t sure what to title this post: ‘Keep improving, keep moving’ or ‘Always growing, always learning’ 29 and of course these either of these titles can be re-ordered.

What came to me, which is more important is, it doesn’t matter how we say things, or what labels we put on things – sometimes we can spend too long trying to define things and then we have lost the momentum, or indeed the will to do what we want to do …

What matters is taking action, actually doing something, rather than just talking about doing things107

We wear ourselves out thinking about what we want to do, or when we are going to do it. And of course, this is good to do – once you don’t spend too long doing it. Planning is okay, once we don’t spend all our time in that cycle of planning.

Action is more important, be a doer, not a talker/planner.

The old sayings come to mind ‘all talk no action’ and ‘talk the talk, but not walk the walk’

It sounds good to have plans, but for a lot of people that’s all they are. We spend our time creating ‘to-do’ lists and schedules – again okay to do. But once you move on from these lists and take action.

I challenge you – though better if you challenge you (always better if you make choices for yourself) – to set the intention today that whatever you do, and however you do it – to move forward – the ‘size’ of the movement doesn’t matter – small steps, or one giant leap …

What matters is that you are moving and growing in whatever you do.

Learn from actions/mistakes – they are not really ‘mistakes’/mis-take (a mis-take – doing something different than the norm – that just came to me now – I am not sure if anyone else has said this before – a mis-take, all good). Yes, if we learn from our ‘mis-takes’ it’s the right choice.

We are sometimes told not to make mistakes (some children fear doing things in case they make a mistake – even if they are not told this directly, they can sense it from the adults around them – more on this to follow in another post).

So today move forward, however you want …

Move forward in the direction of your dreams

Have a beautiful day. Fran x

I Am Free To Be Me

Happy Monday everyone and thank you for reading.

I am back. And sharing another part of me. My initial intention when I started this website and blog was to post each day, possibly slightly unrealistic but I don’t think so. Anyway, I posted two blogs, as you know, and then I took a small break.

I have been getting a nudge to post again, but I didn’t listen to the call. Until now. And I set up a facebook group – ‘Free To Be Me’ – I am not sure of the direction of this group but I know it will include lots on living consciously – freely, in the moment, without fear and limits (self-imposed, self-perceived or otherwise).

I am growing and evolving all the time, we all are, and that is what I am sharing – my journey in true authenticity – I just heard ‘hook, line and sinker’ – I am not a sailor, but the analogy I got from this is that sometimes the waters might be rocky and sometimes they might be calm, and at times the boat (me) might take on some excess water but I will keep sailing. Anyway, enough of that analogy – maybe I will use it again?

This morning, I had started my first post for the ‘Free to Be Me’ group and got to 326 words without getting to the point, so I started again, referencing the first post I wrote on this site on 23rd August 2022, and as I said and I posted it on my website with the intention of writing a blog each day, but life/writing got in the way. And I wanted my website to be perfect, and all of the usual stuff …

This morning I woke knowing that the time is now, so here goes

Time to be Free To Be Me 107 words at 7:01am 111

There are no coincidences and I know numbers are energetic vibrations and the fact that this post was 107 words at 7:01 today (and another synchronisation – if my Granny was still alive, she would have been 107 today.

So, the time is right now.

And did I mention – I know I haven’t, yet, but it seems more dramatic. The ‘Free To Be Me’ post had 555 words (including the title) and for those of you who know numbers 555 is ‘change’ and for those of you who know ‘moon cycles’ there is a full moon tonight, and we all know that the energies around the moon are ‘heightened’.

I will be writing about ‘moon cycles’ and ‘numbers and energy’ in this group, and a lot more besides. I will be sharing my journey with you, and I will also be writing about living more consciously – living freely without fear (perceived or otherwise).

I am sharing my first blog post below and I will share a lot more …

Thank you for reading. Have a beautiful day

Writing Late in Life

I didn’t come to writing late in life.  I came to Me late in life.  Obviously, I was always Me, and I have been writing since I could write.  Lots of different pieces of writing, tried my hand at all of it.  My writing voice has changed over the years; I have changed over the years.

My mum told me that I once stayed up all night to write a story for school – I was in national school, maybe first or second class.  I don’t still have that story, but I don’t still have that Me either.  I have had many more stories along the way, all part of making me the Me that I am now.

As a young child I was quiet, yet slightly daring.  My mum said I used to jump off the kitchen counter.  Of course, I would ask her to catch me, but if she wasn’t ready, I jumped anyway.  I was around two years of age at the time.

I had a great childhood, supportive parents and siblings, and many great friends.  But somewhere along the way I retreated into myself, into a world of books and writing.  I felt safe in my books, creating stories in my head, writing those stories out on pages.  I also got into the habit of writing down my emotions – I didn’t express my feelings out loud – it wasn’t really encouraged.  But that’s okay, it was a different time.

I engaged with the world, and had a great life, great friends and great experiences, but there was always a part of me that I kept hidden – a lack of self confidence in sharing myself fully with my peers.  It’s all good, and it definitely is.  Everything I experienced (good, bad, low, high) has made me who I am, and I wouldn’t change any of it.  I am very comfortable with myself, the Me that I am now.  And while I didn’t come to writing late in life, I have come to the Me that I am ready to share with the world, ‘late in life’ – though since this chapter of my life is here now, it’s not really late in life at all.  

And while I won’t be jumping from any kitchen counters, I am metaphorically jumping into the Me who feels Free.  The Me I Am Ready to Share.  I am Free to Be Me.

Thank you for reading.  Have a beautiful day.  Fran xo